Knapps 10 Steps of a realationship

There are ten step of a relationship, whether it is going into a romantic relationship or getting out of one.  According to Professor Mark Knapp, initiating stage occurs when people meet and interact for the first time.  Most individuals are able to tell whether or not they are going to be into you, or vice versa.  The second stage is experimenting.  The experimenting stage is when individuals converse to learn more about each other.  The third stage is intensifying.  The intensifying stage is the state of relationship development when individuals move from being acquaintances to being close friends.  Next is the integrating stage.  The integrating stage is the relationship development when a deep commitment has formed and there is strong sense that the relationship has its own identity. Finally there is the bonding stage, where the relationship development when the partners publicly announce their commitment stage. Those are the stages of relationship development.  The first stage of Knapps relation dissolution is differentiating.  Differentiating is when you’re constantly finding differences in your partner, they become annoying.  Second, circumscribing this is when couples start to avoid one another in all forms of communication.  Stagnating is when you’re going through emotions that no longer interest or satisfy you. Then there is avoiding, this is when a couple wants your physically and emotionally separate from one another.  Lastly there is terminating, meaning the feelings are no longer there, therefore the relationship has ended.  Those were the stages of relationship dissolution.  Just as romantic relationships start to build, they sometimes come apart overtime.

Why do people decive? Why do I decive?

I believe most people deceive because they want to make a sticky situation better, and the only way they can achieve this is by telling people what they want to here.  Some lies benefit the hearer, compliments towards a friend’s outfit that you don't particularly care for is an example.  People tell white lies to get to know a person better, for instance you may lie about a place you have been just so you can sort of share that bond with someone.  Lies protect ones privacy. Nobody has to know your life, personal or not everyone should keep thier opinions and questions to themselves.  People tell lies to avoid confrontation with another person, if your friend wants to go to the movies and you don't you tell them you do, to make them happy. Telling a lie may even protect yourself from distress.  People have enough stress in their lives, they do not need anyone else causing anymore problems.  Lies can hurt someone for no reason, rumors are a big issue in high schools and middle schools.  Telling a lie is like bullying, it is not a correct way to handle a situation. Granted I'm not perfect, and I've deceived people in the past, at least I am able to admit that.  Everyone has their stages and whether or not they are mature enough to move past the stage of lying, and just be truthful is completely up to them.  I feel as if my generation especially if affected by lying. I hope one day this world will be a little more peaceful.

How Gender and Sex Affect Conflict

Let’s face it women and men are always going to have problems understanding one another.  As a woman I have to understand (though, it is difficult) how the male species functions.  Though sadly, men have to deal with us women who have mood changes, and things that men would never desire to have.  The phrase "men, can't live with them can't live without them" and vice versa are exactly true.  As human beings we cannot seem to get away from one another.  Men are easier going and laid back then woman are.  Most females like to know what is going on, and have a structured pattern on what is going on in her life.  I do not understand how men can go from beating each other up to being best friends overnight.  What I really do not understand is how girls and woman can be such nasty, crude creatures towards one another.  Women generally get along better with men and vice versa.  Body language is key in detecting conflict amongst sex and gender.  One tactic you may observe is a person being passive aggressive.  Passive aggressive is a pattern of behaving vengefully while denying that one has aggressive feelings.  Another tactic is a demand-withdraw pattern, in which a pattern of behavior, one party makes demands and the other party withdraws from the conversation. As completely different species we should really learn how to understand one better, but it is nearly impossible if every person is different. Humans are difficult to understand and with sex and gender playing into effect it makes life even more difficult to comprehend.

The Nature of Intimate Relationships

   Intimate relationships are what all humans inquire over their life spand.  Being intimate is not necessarily being romantic, but being emotionally connected on the same level.  Intimate relationships require deep commitment and a lot of attention.  Being committed towards one another shows each other that you have a desire to be with that person under any circumstances.  When a couple is on a committed level of their relationship it is too assuming that they want to have a future together. Intimate relationships foster interdependence, meaning if something was to happen to one person in the relationship it would affect both people.  Intimate relationships require continuous investment.  In order to have a healthy, stable relationship couples must make sacrifices for each other’s wants and needs.  Couples must invest one another’s time, money, and dedicated attention. Couples who are in a romantic relationship know exactly how much they are investing in the relationship. If couples put forth equal effort towards one another, the couple is most likely to be extremely happy and satisfied.  Intimate relationships spark dialectical tensions. Dialectical tensions are conflicts between two important but different wants and needs.  This happens with every couple.  No one is expected to be a happy step ford wife family.  All couples have issues that they have with one another; with good communication the two of you should be able to work things out.
There are three tensions that are likely to arise.  Autonomy VS Connection, Openess VS Closedness, Predictability VS Novelty. All of these tensions are likely to come up in your relationship at one point. Just remember communication is key.

Discuss the use of the Attraction Theory

Everyone knows that there are four types of attractions, there is interpersonal, physical, social, and task.  Interpersonal is the basic tie when forming a relationship.  You can look at it as the base foundation to any relationship.  Physical attraction is the emotions you feel when someone is pretty, handsome, has a nice body or whatever it is about their physical appearance.  To be completely honest, I believe that most relationships are created upon physical attraction. Not to be stereotypical, but most people end up having relationships with people that are just like they are, not all of the time but most.  Social attraction is what you see in people when they speak.  Whether it is being extremely knowledgeable about everything, or simply just knowing how to use the english language correctively.  I think that this is the most important attraction out there. You cannot base your judgement about someone due to their appearance it is what comes out of their mouths that really counts.  Social attraction is not only about communication, but also about a persons personality.  You can tell a lot by talking to someone for the first time.  Everyone has a different social attractions, good and bad. Last but not least is task attraction.  Certain people may be attracted to the way to accomplish certain duties.  Whether its cleaning the house, or building a bridge humans are attracted to the weirdest of things Being attracted to someone does not mean it is always physical. Before taking this course, I did think that the only type of attraction was physical, I am glad that my mind set has been opened up to see what attractions do exist.

Why is nonverbal communication so important?

Nonverbal communication is so important because it tells you what the mouth does not.  If you can master reading body language you can read a human being like a book.  Body language speaks more the actual communication.  People can say whatever they want, it is the motions, signals, facial expressions, and tones of voice they use to tell what they are saying.  Reading body language is extremely important. The way a person expresses his or her voice can determine whether or not they are happy, sad, mad, or just do not care.  Facial expressions are key when reading body language.  You can tell if a person is lying just by if they smile or not.  Eye movements are always a factor in watching body language, have you ever heard that expression, "people talk with their eyes"? Reading body language can help you understand a person better.  A persons body language can tell you so much more than the eye can see. However there are sometimes multiple messages coming from one nonverbal message.  When reading body language always make sure to keep in mind what the situation is regarding the topic.  Though you think you might have a persons body language to a T, make sure you clarify your information with the person not just assume. We all know what assuming things mean, but that we will save for another day! Reading body language is another form of communication that you could have with a person.  It is very important to master the basics when it comes to detecting certain emotions.  Nonverbal communications should really be a class studied throughout school, every human being does it so why not learn it.

Why do we love to gossip?

As a human being it is generally obvious that myself, or others will be gossiping about someone, somehow.  You might not think that you gossip, until you really analyze and catch yourself doing so. Humans do it everyday.  Whether you are reading a magazine or walking down the halls as school.  People always have something to say about someone, or something.  Gossiping can be very hurtful at sometimes.  You really should be careful when you are gossiping about someone and think to yourself  "Would I want someone to say something like this to me"? Everyone should always follow the rule if you have nothing nice to say, do not say it at all.  Humans cannot control themselves when it comes to gossiping, I like to refer to that as word vomit, because most people say what they have to say without thinking about what they truly just said about someone.    Sometimes we cannot control our mouths, but we can control our thoughts.  Humans love to gossip mainly because it is something exciting to do, and we simply have nothing better to do then to think of ways to possibly hurt someone.  When I hear the word gossip, I think of bad mouthing someone not giving them compliments. Gossiping about the latest celebrity news is what is most popular. Have you noticed, that as soon as you read a headline about someone getting into rehab, or getting a divorce we immediately think that they are horrible people?  Take Britney Spears for example, everyone thought she was nuts because she shaved her hair off, did anyone once think she did it to disguise herself from being judged? The next time you want to gossip about someone, try and turn it around and compliment someone.